Sometimes your scalp feels like it's crawling, as if it were trying to send you a message - "I need treatment!" - but a good, satisfying scratch is out of the question.
By choosing the right shampoo, you'll never have to experience the discomfort of the following situations
Those handcuffs do a pretty good job at stopping you from scratching, but you might have to tolerate the itch until parole, as we're not sure they'll have Dercos Ultra Soothing shampoo in commissary...
Standing on the bus, squeezed under the armpit of some stranger, is a terrible time to need a scratch. Even if you can physically move your arm to reach your head, you'll melt under the disgusted glares of the other passengers. Don't be that person.
You can be 100% sure that even the tiniest, most subtle scratch in the history of scalp scratches, will be caught on camera by those pesky paparazzi, ruining your chances of getting on the "best dressed" list.
She's just waiting to pick out the slightest flaw, and you know she won't let it go - choosing every family gathering to bring it up again "Are you still itchy hun?" Don't give her the satisfaction!
The grocery store
Not because it's embarrassing (well, that too) but because, with at least one bag in each hand, scratching your head is physically impossible. Don't try to prove us wrong - there'll be eggs all over the parking lot.
You've waited years for your time to shine as Grizabella in Cats, the Musical, and now all you can think about is ants. Ants, not cats. Ants. All over your head.
Waiting in line
Don't share your cosmetic issues with those other poor souls waiting at the bank/store/post office. If you really have to scratch, abandon your place as punishment.
Eating with your hands
Hands up! If you scratch your head before or during a hands-on meal, you fully deserve the looks of repulsion from your fellow diners. At the very least, no-one will want to share.
At the dentist
It's pretty much impossible to scratch in this situation... which brings us to an unrelated point: why do dentists always ask questions when you have your mouth open?
Very ill-advised unless you happen to be one of those people who know how to ride a bike with no hands, in which case, please teach us!